I hav a friend who has wanted a baby ever since she got married six years ago. Her hopes have been raised with each pregnancy, only to have them dashed to pieces as soon as the tell-tale signs begin. Three pregnancies. Three miscarriages. No baby. Although she doesn't show it openly, my friend is heavy-hearted much of the time, and very perplexed. God seems so distant; she can't find his comfort. But she goes through the motions, getting up each morning to read her Bible and to pray, attending Bible study and worship each week with her husband, and making a nice home. What else can she do? Her desire remains constant even as her hopes diminish. What is God up to in the life of my friend?
We all face difficulties such as hers eventually. Trials like this, the kind from which there is no escape in front or behind, the kind which are not bad enough to make us want to stop living but cover all we do with a black cloud, can just go on and on with no relief in sight. Why does God do this to those he loves? It just makes no sense to our way of thinking.
We don't know all the reasons, but one thing we do know is that this is one of the ways God teaches us that he is adequate for all our needs. My friend doesn't actually need a baby; she just needs Jesus. But only God can make Christ and his lordship her first priority, her greatest desire, and he is actually doing it for her in and through her pain. And she may get her baby yet.
Many of us are living in some sort of wilderness right now. God may never reveal to us the specific reason for our suffering, but he will always show us what we really need. Remember Job? He came out of his wilderness experience with deeper faith and with a double portion of all he had lost. But before he got there, he made a decision to cling to God in the midst of his pain. While still in the wilderness Job stopped questioning God’s goodness and simply considered his character. As a result, even before his losses were restored to him, Job was able to cry out, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2).
We have a choice to make: will we trust in God’s goodness right now, today, even before God brings us out of trouble? If so, here is what we can expect: “We consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful” (James 5:11).
We all face difficulties such as hers eventually. Trials like this, the kind from which there is no escape in front or behind, the kind which are not bad enough to make us want to stop living but cover all we do with a black cloud, can just go on and on with no relief in sight. Why does God do this to those he loves? It just makes no sense to our way of thinking.
We don't know all the reasons, but one thing we do know is that this is one of the ways God teaches us that he is adequate for all our needs. My friend doesn't actually need a baby; she just needs Jesus. But only God can make Christ and his lordship her first priority, her greatest desire, and he is actually doing it for her in and through her pain. And she may get her baby yet.
Many of us are living in some sort of wilderness right now. God may never reveal to us the specific reason for our suffering, but he will always show us what we really need. Remember Job? He came out of his wilderness experience with deeper faith and with a double portion of all he had lost. But before he got there, he made a decision to cling to God in the midst of his pain. While still in the wilderness Job stopped questioning God’s goodness and simply considered his character. As a result, even before his losses were restored to him, Job was able to cry out, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2).
We have a choice to make: will we trust in God’s goodness right now, today, even before God brings us out of trouble? If so, here is what we can expect: “We consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful” (James 5:11).
Labels: Christian Life
5 Comments:
My heart goes out to your friend.God often works through what is very precious to us to teach us how exceedingly
precious He is. I have experienced the sorrow of miscarriage, an adoption fallen through, the full-term birth of a baby who died two days later, a son with congenital brain damage and another with chronic illness requiring many surgeries and hospitalizations.It has not been an easy path,(still isn't) but, like Job, we have learned to love the sovereignty of God. His mercy and goodness through the Cross far outweighs the sorrow.Tell your friend to cling to God, to trust Him and what He tells her in His Word, and not give in to fear (1 Peter 3). God is God, and He will do what is good and will bring Him glory. Baby or not, her eyes will see the goodness of the Lord.Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man or woman who trusts in Him! The fact that our small lives can serve the glory of God astounds me; through these truly painful losses your friend has an opportunity to do just that.
Lydia, if this comment will be hurtful to your friend, please don't post it. I meant to write it as one who has suffered through the loss/heartache of children, and who also has tasted the goodness of the Lord and found him most faithful. Thank you.
Amen. I love Lamentations 3:24-26: "'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."
Thanks for such a thoughtful post. I went through a very similar expeience a few years ago before God blessed us with our son. I had two miscarriages and I just couldn't understand what God was doing in my life. I found it very hard to trust him in such a difficult situation that felt so far befond my control. It was a real lesson that God's plans are not always the same as ours.
I'll pray for your friend, that she won't give up trusting in God no matter what her circumstances, and that perhaps one day God will do as he did for me and bless her with the good gift of children.
Feeling as if singlness is a curse from God! Why has God withheld a partner from me?
Anon,
Your desire to be married is good and right. God created you to desire marriage. He is also sovereign over the fulfillment of your desire. There are two primary things you can do in the mean time: 1) Live in obedience, in service, and in fellowship with God's people. It is typically through the ordinary living out of our lives in paths marked out for us in Scripture that God unfolds his fulfilling of all he places in our hearts; and 2) wait for God, trusting that he will answer in the best way and time. However he answers, you will find it ultimately to be a blessing.
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