Habitual sin--I've been thinking about that this week. The thoughts began on New Year's Day as I was taking stock of the year gone by, and I realized that I'd been "repenting" of a couple of sin habits for months on end, which is, of course, not real repentance at all. Added to that are the conversations with friends over the last few days. One or two have admitted to a similar problem. Why do we stay stuck in the same old sins? As I think it through, I believe there are at least these five things that keep us stuck:
1) We don't really want to give it up. We think we do, which is why we pray about it, but in reality the only thing we want to give up is its consequences.
2) There's a pay-off we're getting from it. Underlying our clinging to something sketchy--or downright evil--is the fact that we derive some benefit from the behavior that we don't want to give up. The benefit may be hidden, but the truth is that if we hang on to something we know is wrong and at some level hate, there's a perceived reward attached.
3) We've indulged and compromised so often that our conscience is seared, and we've become immune to the evil of our actions. Our initial recoiling from the badness of the thing over time can easily spin into the nebulous "I'm not convinced it's really sinful" category. This is a dangerous place to get. Once this happens, we lose our sensitivity to the Spirit's convicting work, and we fall out of touch with biblical wisdom.
4) We keep it secret. Some sinful habits don't seem that bad because there are no outward indicators that we are caught in something. No one can call us on it. This is also a dangerous place to get. Proverbs tell us that someone who "isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment" (18:1). This is exactly where the enemy of our souls wants us. He can con us much more easily when his is the only voice we are listening to.
5) The primary reason we stay stuck is that we fail to look to Christ. We know that he died to the pay the penalty for our sin, which, unfortunately, all too often we use as an excuse to indulge just one more day. We turn our thoughts away from the fact that pressing ahead with sin because we are forgiven is a total abuse of grace. Besides, Christ didn't just die for us, he lived for us too, which means that as soon as we look to him, cling to him, and rest our hearts on him in dependence to overcome, we will find that we can indeed overcome. The problem isn't that this is hard or far off or something we have to figure out how to harness. It's simply that we won't look there because we arent quite ready to give up our sin.
"This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness" --Ephesians 4:17-24
1) We don't really want to give it up. We think we do, which is why we pray about it, but in reality the only thing we want to give up is its consequences.
2) There's a pay-off we're getting from it. Underlying our clinging to something sketchy--or downright evil--is the fact that we derive some benefit from the behavior that we don't want to give up. The benefit may be hidden, but the truth is that if we hang on to something we know is wrong and at some level hate, there's a perceived reward attached.
3) We've indulged and compromised so often that our conscience is seared, and we've become immune to the evil of our actions. Our initial recoiling from the badness of the thing over time can easily spin into the nebulous "I'm not convinced it's really sinful" category. This is a dangerous place to get. Once this happens, we lose our sensitivity to the Spirit's convicting work, and we fall out of touch with biblical wisdom.
4) We keep it secret. Some sinful habits don't seem that bad because there are no outward indicators that we are caught in something. No one can call us on it. This is also a dangerous place to get. Proverbs tell us that someone who "isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment" (18:1). This is exactly where the enemy of our souls wants us. He can con us much more easily when his is the only voice we are listening to.
5) The primary reason we stay stuck is that we fail to look to Christ. We know that he died to the pay the penalty for our sin, which, unfortunately, all too often we use as an excuse to indulge just one more day. We turn our thoughts away from the fact that pressing ahead with sin because we are forgiven is a total abuse of grace. Besides, Christ didn't just die for us, he lived for us too, which means that as soon as we look to him, cling to him, and rest our hearts on him in dependence to overcome, we will find that we can indeed overcome. The problem isn't that this is hard or far off or something we have to figure out how to harness. It's simply that we won't look there because we arent quite ready to give up our sin.
"This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness" --Ephesians 4:17-24
Labels: godly character
13 Comments:
In counseling I see this kind of cycle alot.
Something I have noticed, sometimes if a person does not fully accept and believe that God has forgiven them, then they don't feel "cleansed." (I Jn. 1:9)
I think that perhaps a person thinks that, "well, I have already done it once, might as well do it again."
I think when a person truly goes through the brokenness, confession, and acceptance of God's forgiveness, they will experience some victory.
Lydia,
Thank you so much for this post. It's amazing how God moves and directs the steps taken in a day. My church just finished a fast and one of the things I asked myself was "why am I stuck dealing with sins I've repented of already?" Needless to say your post was timely. This is actually my first time visiting the Purple Cellar.
A some time ago you met my husband Anthony Carter at a conference. You gave him your Trust and Contentment devotional books. I am currently using your Trust book as a study with the women at our church. (East Point Church) It has truly been eye-opening and convicting. Knowing that Christ paid for all of our down-falls and mistakes is so reassuring. You've made it a little more clear in your book and in this post. Thanks again for your ministry. I will be visiting The Purple Cellar often.
In Christ,
Adriane Carter
(adriane.carter@comcast.net) You can visit our church's website at www.epointchurch.org
Hey Lydia,
Adriane again. I just found out that you didn't actually meet my husband at a conference. I think you may have read one of his books and sent him the two devotionals. He wrote "On Being Black and Reformed" and "Experiencing the Truth". I hope that helps your remembering. (As Winnie the Pooh would say) :) Thanks again for your ministry.
Adriane
Adriane,
How nice to meet you, albeit electronically! I hope we can meet in person sometime. I am eager to check out your church website, so thanks for including the link!
Lydia
Thanks for writing such a timely and insightful post. I'm going to take time to really think through your potential reasons for lack of change.
All,
It seems this post hit home for many of us--isn't it nice to know we aren't alone in the struggle?
And Adriane,
We at Crossway all think very highly of Anthony's books. Thanks for the clarity--I was afraid I was getting old and forgetful!
So true!
I heard another reason this week that may be included in what you said. We sin because we aren't satisfied in some way. Or, we don't sin when we are satisfied with God and the good gifts he has given us. That changes the focus from "don't do this" to "do be satisfied with all that God has given including himself."
I get "stuck" repenting of the same ol' sins over and over. I may improve for awhile but eventually some of them return. I will copy your posting and use it in my prayer time to reevaluate these issues. Thank you for sharing.
Wow, this hit home and hit hard. I'm going to bookmark it for sure.
We all need to see our sin in its ugliness if we're ever going to repent of it.
I've never run across The Purple Cellar before (is that a playful pun on the Biblical Lydia -- the purple seller?) I found you through a link on Challies.com. Glad he introduced me to your site.
Hi, Betsy.
Yes, it IS a wordplay on the biblical Lydia. The blog name was suggested to me by my friend Michele, and the moment I heard it, it stuck.
Glad to have you join our readership!
Truth hurts...
Good stuff...
Wise words.
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